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Josen




Locatie: 22, Lazyrnaya

28.08.2021 4:12   Love love love.  citat 



When exploring the love between a man and a woman, it is difficult to focus on one concept and not include different components in this phenomenon. Love is a set of manifestations of both the soul and the body associated with another person. Love accompanies a person from infancy to death, participates in psychosexual development and socialization, manifests itself in instincts and drives. Love has its own character for every person and for every couple. The forms of love are so diverse and at the same time of the same type that they constitute a kind of paradox.

But there is a formula in which love becomes a space for the development of each member of the couple, a space where the couple goes through growing up, aging, death and leaving memory to descendants in the form of that very form of love.

Let's look at the factors that determine the form of love in a couple.

Attachment

This is the first factor that sets the couple's strategy for the development of relations. Attachment is a formed internal emotional and physical connection with close people, which becomes a "cast" for a person inside, according to which he establishes new connections in adult life.

The English psychoanalyst D. Bowlby put forward the theory of attachment and defined the types. It is the type of attachment of a man and a woman that was formed in childhood and adolescence that will form the emotional atmosphere in a couple.

If a couple has a secure attachment, then it is more likely that the partners see support in each other, and they feel valuable and worthy of respect. They have a positive attitude towards others and demonstrate the stability of the couple in relation to the outside world, they interact better and trust each other more.

Anxiety-avoiding attachment in a couple. A couple with such an attachment is usually more prone to stressful situations and showdowns. She shows more aggression and control towards each other due to the lack of trusting relationships. The couple tends to distance themselves from each other and ignore the needs. In most cases, couples with this type of attachment express aggression by mutual ignoring, detachment and indifference.

Anxiety-resistant attachment. In this case, a man and a woman in a couple experience a lack of self-confidence and stay closer to their parent family. They are kept dependent on their parents in the form of frequent communication, living with them, the mother or father has access to the intimate space of the couple, participates in conflicts and keeps the couple under control. This attachment develops due to the immaturity of the members of the couple and the inability to create intimate boundaries of the couple. As a result, a number of aggressive emotional reactions flood the couple and hatred becomes more leading than love.

Disorganized attachment. Couples with this style of attachment are usually unable to create an emotional connection with another person, tend to show aggression, destructive behavior and social isolation. They are more likely to see others as a threat rather than a source of support, and therefore can switch between social isolation and aggressive-defensive behavior in a couple. When paired with this type of attachment, there is physical and emotional violence. Deep psychological traumas and the severity of the mental state of the partners in a couple does not allow them to be in close relations with each other and create any positive connection.

Based on the description of the types of attachment, a person can determine in what conditions of the emotional and physical atmosphere he was brought up and what type of attachment he formed. Attachment is corrected and changed if a person accepts the type formed in him and understands that the partner is not to blame for his suffering. And when he begins to rethink his life experience, changes it, then the type of attachment gradually changes, leading a person to a sense of calm.

Sensuality

It is another important component of love. Sensuality correlates both with the ability to recognize feelings, and with bodily experience and the ability to respond to the feelings and reactions of a partner. Sensuality is deeply connected with the five senses: smell, touch, hearing, sight and taste. The perception of your partner's five senses is just as important as what a person eats every day. The partner must be suitable for us in all parameters, otherwise deep intimacy will be unavailable due to the formation of an unconscious aversion to the partner. The partner's voice, smell, taste when kissing – this is of great importance for the further development of relations in a couple.

The first tactile relationship a person receives in early childhood, then the body develops and the way it was perceived by close people and what attitude a person formed to his own body and gender will determine the future of sexual relations with a partner. For example, if girls were treated disdainfully in the parental family, the body of an adult girl was perceived as something terrible and shameful, then in the future such a woman will be ashamed of her body and sexuality. Accordingly, there will be a lot of shame and embarrassment in the couple, because of which the intimacy and sexual life of the couple will suffer.

Therefore, sensuality - a direct manifestation of love and relationships, both emotional and sexual-can clearly demonstrate its own attitude to the body and soul.

Understanding

It is also an important manifestation of love. Thinking and its role in the development of a couple has a significant impact on attachment, sensuality and sexuality. The general intellectual level of partners is one of the main details of love. The ability to understand and build causal relationships is a fundamental condition for connecting with reality. Since it strengthens the relationship in a couple, the ability to understand yourself and each other becomes a necessary condition for love. If our own image of the Self, that is, the way we present ourselves, coincides with the way our partner represents us, then in this case a realistic connection with the beloved object is manifested. If these images do not match, then, as a rule, such couples have overestimated requirements for each other, a lot of aggressive feelings and frustration. An experiment conducted by the BBC ("He and She. Secrets of relationships") showed that couples in love embellish their partners a little. This is how a psychological phenomenon manifests itself, where the partner is a positive object and it is safe to build relationships with him. But the idealization of the partner should be within the framework of reality and a little "embellishment". If the partner seems to be completely "ideal", then this image is far from reality, and therefore a relationship of intimacy is impossible. Since real intimacy is available during the formation of "man-man" communication, and when all the gods or goddesses are in a couple, communication becomes distanced, since god as an archetype is basically unavailable. Therefore, if there is a god or a goddess in the couple, then the connection with such a person, both sexual and emotional, is not available.


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Karloss




Locatie: Miami Beach, FL

28.08.2021 5:54     citat 

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17.11.2021 2:30     citat 

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15.03.2022 2:50     citat 

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