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Pregatiti-va pentru a deveni parinti (sfaturi practice)
03.07.2003 5:00
Pregatiti-va pentru a deveni parinti (sfaturi practice)
try
M-a amuzat teribil mesajul ce l-am primit azi-dimineata de la o prietena si m-am gandit sa-l impart cu toate viitoarele mamici sau ce doresc a deveni mamici.


1. Pentru a va pregati sa deveniti mama, imbracati un halat de baie si
fixati-va pe burta un sac plin cu fasole. Dupa 9 luni, scoateti doar 10%
din continutul sacului! Pentru tatici: fugiti repede la farmacie,
goliti-va portofelul pe tejghea si invitati farmacistul sa se serveasca.
Dupa aceea, mergeti la supermarket si cereti ca salariul dvs sa fie
varsat direct in contul magazinului.

2. Pentru a avea o idee despre cum va veti petrece serile, intre orele
17h si 22h parcurgeti in lung si in lat sufrageria purtând in brate un
sac umed care cântareste intre 4 si 6 kg. La ora 22h lasati sacul,
reglati desteptatorul la 00h00 si mergeti la culcare. La miezul noptii,
treziti-va si parcurgeti din nou sufrageria purtând sacul timp de o ora.
Reglati desteptatorul la ora 3h00. Imposibil sa mai adormiti, evident,
asa ca treziti-va la ora 2h00 si serviti-va ceva de baut. Intoarcerea in
pat la 2h45. Când suna desteptatorul, un sfert de ora mai târziu,
trezirea! Cântati cântecele de leagan pâna la ora 4h00. Reglati
desteptatorul la 5h00. Treziti-va si preparati micul dejun. Mentineti
acest ritm timp de 5 ani...fara sa va pierdeti buna dispozitie!

3. Goliti un pepene si practicati in mijloc o gaura de talia unei mingi
de golf. Suspendati-l de tavan cu o sfoara si balansati-l de la stânga
la dreapta. Dintr-o farfurie cu supa (foarte lichida) incercati sa
hraniti "pepenele" (care e in miscare), jucându-va de-a avionul cu o
lingurita. Continuati exercitiul pâna când farfuria e pe jumatate
golita, varsati restul... pe genunchii dvs...bravo! acum stiti sa
hraniti un bebelus! Pentru a avea o idee despre ceea ce se va intâmpla
când va incepe sa mearga, etalati dulceata pe canapea si pe perdele,
disimulati un pic de peste congelat in spatele televizorului si lasati-l
acolo timp de o luna sau doua...

4. Imbracatul celor mici nu e chiar o placere. Incepeti prin a cumpara
o caracatita si o plasa pentru peste. Incercati sa introduceti
caracatita in plasa fara ca nici un tentacul sa nu depaseasca. Timp
prevazut: toata dimineata.

5. Nu sperati ca veti mai avea o masina curata si stralucitoare ca in
ziua când ati cumparat-o. Cumparati o inghetata de vanilie si uitati-o
in cutia de pe bord. Introduceti o moneda in casetofon (sau CD player).
Sfarâmati un pachet de biscuti sau de ciocolata pe scaunele din spate.
In final, zgâriati fiecare portiera cu un cui. Perfect!
6. Mergeti la supermarket insotiti de ceva care se apropie cel mai mult
de un copil mic: o capra adulta de preferinta. Daca intentionati sa
aveti mai multi copii, folositi mai multe capre. Faceti cumparaturile
fara sa le scapati din ochi si platiti fara comentarii tot ceea ce au
distrus.

7. Repetati de cel putin 5 ori tot ceea ce spuneti.

8. O ultima recomandare:inainte de a face copii, vizitati-va prietenii
care au deja. Criticati din plin metoda lor de educatie, lipsa lor de
rabdare sau de autoritate. Permiteti-va sa le dati sfaturi asupra orei
de culcare, olitei, lipsa bunelor maniere la masa etc. Intr-un cuvânt:
ajutati-i sa-si rezolve problemele si, in acelsi timp, profitati bine de
situatie: este ultima oara când detineti solutiile corecte.

03.07.2003 9:02
vulpita
Locatie: Canada
Haios foarte fericit si real prostit
03.07.2003 9:05
bg
rad rad rad rad rad
Inca un "sfat practic"

Rugati-va sotul sa potriveasca ceasul sa sune din 3 in 3 ore noapte si eventual sa-l ascunda prin casa. La ora fixata incercati sa cautati ceasul cu zambetul pe buze foarte fericit foarte fericit fara a darama prea multe in calea voastra.

rad rad rad

04.07.2003 12:26
Cora
http://parinti.com/modules.php?name=For...highlight=

rad rad rad rad rad rad plagiat, plagiat, na-na-na-na bu-bu... rad rad rad asa ar zice fi-miu....

...glumesc, doar vroiam sa va arat ca au mai fost postate cindva la Una, Alta. scot limba

04.07.2003 12:30
AdinaA
Locatie: Auckland, New Zealand
rad rad rad rad
Sint haioase,eu personal nu le stiam.
Vai si ce adevarate sint !!!!! foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit

Viitoarelor mamici, sa nu va piara cheful cumva foarte fericit foarte fericit

04.07.2003 3:37
ina_nz
Locatie: auckland, new zealand
prostit prostit prostit prostit prostit
De ce nu mi-atzi spus mai toate astea acum fo 9 luni?? Relelor! scot limba scot limba

04.07.2003 4:32
try
Deci, Ina, esti pe metereze! Cand urmeaza sa nasti?
04.07.2003 7:10
fish
Locatie: Olanda
... hai ma fete ca nu e asa rau... si nu dureaza nici asa mult... trist
de ce vreti sa ma demoralizati acu´, la spartul targului???

04.07.2003 7:14
Cora
rad rad rad Ina si Fish, sinteti totale... rad rad rad ... asa va trebuie daca nu cititi cu atentie pe forum... desi oricum ar fi fost tardiv nervos ... e lasa dragelor ca daca noi cele de aici, cu copii, inca mai putem sa postam pe un forum, inseamna ca nu-i asa de teribil... cel putin dupa primii 3 ani si 1/2 ai copilului chiar ai timp si de asa ceva. scot limba prostit rad rad rad rad rad
05.07.2003 12:04
ina_nz
Locatie: auckland, new zealand
Try sunt pe metereze shi kiar ma confund cu ele uneori (cand e lumina mai slaba). Pe 8 august cica e data probabila a nashterii......mult a fost, putzin a mai ramas......ushor a fost, greu d'abia a inceput sa fie foarte fericit foarte fericit

Cora eshti numa buna de incurajat rad rad Auzi la ea...sa ma linishtesc...ca dupa 3-4 ani apuc sa-mi fac timp de postat pe forum foarte fericit foarte fericit

05.07.2003 10:18
daniluca
Locatie: prin State
N-a zis nimeni aici ca trebuie sa inveti sa faci baie cu usa deschisa, cu ochii la usa, in 3 minute poate mai putin...si cu un fond sonor bine cunoscut..... rad rad rad
11.07.2003 12:41
Nina
Locatie: M-Ciuc
Bune sfaturi ! prostit foarte fericit
12.07.2003 2:53
agneska
Locatie: Franta dar acum Germania
rad rad haios textul ! Sper sa mai pot rade asa si dupa 20 august ! Cam tarziu gravidoasele sa facem pasii inapoi ! foarte fericit Eh lasati mai viitoare mamici ca nu o sa facem decat sa intram si noi in randul veteranelor care se falesc pe aici scot limba cu ce au facut ele si noi nu inca ! scot limba
Va pup pe toate ! rad
sarut

18.01.2005 5:31
cum se plagiaza unii pe altii... :-)
Cora
...sau ce funny sint unele subiecte pe aceeasi tema gasite la o "restructurare" a forumului... rad

Try o plagiaza pe Manu, Manu pe Zizee si Zizee pe Lilith1967... rushinica! rushinica!... scot limba rad ... oricum merita toate vizionate...

Sfaturi pentru viitori parinti
Pentru toate aspirantele & fam.
Bancuri care (ne) fac bine (part II)

15.03.2021 1:00
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21.04.2021 10:06
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20.11.2021 5:12
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18.03.2022 6:34
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