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autor Sa ridem si in 2003     
Cora





10.01.2003 7:31   Sa ridem si in 2003  citat 

Consumul de alcool ? Simptome, cauze si solutii

1) Simptom: Picioare reci si umede.
Cauza: Paharul tau e inclinat sub un unghi incorect.
Solutie: Intoarce paharul; incearca sa faci astfel incat partea deschisa sa fie indreptata in sus.

2) Simptom: Picioare calde si umede.
Cauza: Ei, asta e: te-ai pi... pe tine.
Solutie: Du-te si te usuca la toaleta cea mai apropiata.

3) Simptom: Tejgheaua e din email alb.
Cauza: Inca nu ai iesit de la toaleta.
Solutie: Mai bine chemi ajutor.

4) Simptom: Nu mai vine berea pe care ai cerut-o de juma' de ora.
Cauza: Tejgheaua e in spatele tau.
Solutie: Intoarce-te: berea ta e cu siguranta acolo.

5) Simptom: Peretele din fata ta este plin de lumini.
Cauza: Probabil ai cazut pe spate.
Solutie: Pozitioneaza-ti corpul la 90 de grade de sol!

6) Simptom: Gura iti e plina de chistoace.
Cauza: Ai cazut cu nasul in scrumiera.
Solutie: Scoate-le afara si clateste-ti gura cu o dusca de gin tonic.

7) Simptom: Vederea tulbure
Cauza: Te uiti printr-un pahar gol.
Solutie: Mai cere un rand din bautura ta preferata.

cool Simptom: Se deplaseaza solul sub picioarele tale!
Cauza: Doi bodyguarzi te scot afara din local.
Solutie: Intreaba-i cel putin unde te duc...

9) Simptom: Reflexii multiple ale unei fete te privesc din apa.
Cauza: Esti la WC, incercand sa vomiti.
Solutie: Baga-ti degetul pe gat...

10) Simptom: Oamenii din jurul tau vorbesc si au un ecou misterios.
Cauza: Ti-ai pus paharul la ureche.
Solutie: Inceteaza sa mai faci pe prostul...

11) Simptom: Ringul se cam deplaseaza, oamenii din jur sunt imbracati in alb, iar muzica e cam monotona.
Cauza: Esti intr-o ambulanta.
Solutie: Nu misca. Posibila coma alcoolica!

12) Simptom: Tatal tau are un aer cam ciudat, iar fratii te privesc
perplex.
Cauza: Ai gresit casa.
Solutie: Intreaba-i daca nu cumva stiu unde e casa ta...

13 Simptom: Un spot enorm de discoteca te orbeste.
Cauza: Esti intins pe spate si s-a o "picatura" mica, ca sa-ti revii...


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Cora





10.01.2003 7:33     citat 

When you've had an absolute "I hate my job" day try this:

On your way home from work, stop at a m-am prapadit, acum ma duc sa visez frumos!


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lilith1967





10.01.2003 2:54     citat 

Happy that I'm not working for Johnson&Johnson!foarte fericit

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Cora





16.01.2003 9:46     citat 

CE TI-AR SPUNE COPILUL ...DACA AR PUTEA VORBI


Despre placerile vietii:
<li>Eu am paturica mea, tu ai cafeaua ta. Cred ca-i suficient.
<li>Nu fi gelos, dar cred ca sint indragostit de ventilatorul ce atirna de tavan.
<li>Stiu unde este telecomanda TV-ului, dar asta o sa te coste.
<li>Pentru tine este doar un carton de oua gol, pentru mine este PlayStation 2.
<li>de fapt nu ma deranjeaza sa stau in cadita cu apa in care tocmai am facut pipi.


Despre durerile vietii:
<li>Baga si tu o surubelnita usor si in mod constant in propriile gingii - asa ai sa intelegi ce inseamna sa-ti iasa dintii.
<li>Doua cuvinte pe care nu vreau sa le mai aud din partea ta: Termometru Rectal.


Despre ignoranta parintilor:
<li>Nu are rost sa ma inveti sa zic "mama" sau "tata". Primul meu cuvint va fi "sapca".
<li>Ti-am spus de 5 ori ce spune o vaca. Daca nu-ti amintesti, eu inca o data nu mai spun!
<li>Nici nu intra in discutie ca as putea sa pling mai putin decit speri tu.
<li>Nu arunc mincarea in bataie de joc. Eu explorez legile gravitatiei, estimez greutatea si testez viteza vintului.
<li>Daca doreai pe cineva care sa doarma bine, trebuia sa-ti iei o pisica.


Despre marile mistere ale vietii:
<li>Cine naiba este copilul acela din oglinda despre care tot insisti sa ma intrebi?
<li>Daca funduletul meu este atit de dragalas, de ce intotdeauna cineva vrea sa-l acopere?
<li>Cine esti tu sa-mi spui mie cit de important este sa adorm singur?


Cugetarea finala:
<li>Ceea ce tu crezi in secret este adevarat: Sint mult mai destept decit ceilalti copii.


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muztu




Locatie: US
Copii
Eca
Peter

17.01.2003 9:52     citat 

foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit foarte fericit

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SMOKY





17.01.2003 11:41     citat 

> HU'S ON FIRST
> By James Sherman
>
> (We take you now to the Oval Office.)
>
> George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
> Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
> George: Great. Lay it on me.
> Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
> George: That's what I want to know.
> Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
> George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
> Condi: Yes.
> George: I mean the fellow's name.
> Condi: Hu.
> George: The guy in China.
> Condi: Hu.
> George: The new leader of China.
> Condi: Hu.
> George: The Chinaman!
> Condi: Hu is leading China.
> George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
> Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
> George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
> Condi: That's the man's name.
> George: That's who's name?
> Condi: Yes.
> George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
> China?
> Condi: Yes, sir.
> George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
> Middle East.
> Condi: That's correct.
> George: Then who is in China?
> Condi: Yes, sir.
> George: Yassir is in China?
> Condi: No, sir.
> George: Then who is?
> Condi: Yes, sir.
> George: Yassir?
> Condi: No, sir.
> George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
> Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
> Condi: Kofi?
> George: No, thanks.
> Condi: You want Kofi?
> George: No.
> Condi: You don't want Kofi.
> George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a ce "prescurtare" este un cuvant asa lung ?
> 2. de ce soldatii Kamikaze purtau o casca ?
> 3. de ce se sterilizeaza acele cu care se fac injectiile condamnatilor
la moarte ?
> 4. Care este sinonimul cuvantului " sinonim " ?
> 5. de ce nu exista mancare de pisici cu gust de soarece ?
> 6. Daca nimic nu se lipeste de teflon, cum e lipit teflonul de tigaie?
> 7. de ce balerinele merg mereu pe varfuri ? Nu ar fi mai simplu sa
angajeze balerine mai inalte ?
> 8. Vreau sa imi cumpar un bumerang nou. Cum pot sa scap de cel vechi?
> 9. de ce localurile deschise non stop au incuietori ?
> 10.de ce avioanele nu sunt fabricate din acelasi material din care sunt
facute cutiile negre ?
> 11. Cum poate avea Donald nepoti daca nu are frati sau surori ?
> 12. Adam avea buric ?
> 13.Daca Superman este asa de destept, de ce isi ia chilotii peste
pantaloni ?
> 14. Cand faci fotografii cu Mickey la Disneyland, omul din interiorul lui
Mickey zambeste ?
> 15. Cand o masina merge, aerul din interiorul pneului se invarte ?
> 16.Daca o pisica pica mereu in picioare si o bucata de paine cu unt cade
mereu pe partea unsa, ce se
> intampla daca legam o felie de paine unsa cu unt de spatele unei pisici si
o aruncam pe fereastra ?
> 17. Ce culoare are un cameleon cand se uita intr-o oglinda ?
>
zambet


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vyronis





23.07.2021 5:38     citat 

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22.11.2021 1:59     citat 

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20.03.2022 3:27     citat 

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18.08.2022 5:41     citat 

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20.09.2022 5:41     citat 

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